Symbol & Reality - I have promises to keep

Learning to keep a promise is more important than many think. Happiness in life and success in business is dependant on trust. Changed attitudes to marriage vows over the last 100 years illustrate the importance of trust in both symbol and reality.

'The old vows were created by society and presented to the couple, signifying the goal of conforming the couple to marriage. The new vows are created by the couple and presented to society, signifying the goal of conforming marriage to the couple. The two approaches reflect strikingly divergent views of marriage and of reality itself. In one view, the vow is prior to the couple. The vow exists on its own, exerting social and sacred authority that is independent of the couple. In this sense, the vow helps create the couple. For in making the same promise that others before them have made, and that others after them will make, the couple vow on their wedding day to become accountable to an ideal of marriage that is outside of them and bigger than they are. …The essence of this change reflects a dramatic shrinking of our idea of marriage. Marriage as a vital communal institution shrinks to marriage as a purely private relationship. Marriage as something that defines me shrinks to something that I define.' (David Blankenhorn)

“Real Issues” no. 5, 28.02.02