Obstacles To Brotherhood

In spite of a clear biblical mandate to "love one another", research indicates that most Christian men struggle profoundly with their relationships. Many would like to have friends on whom they could count: brothers! Yet, in spite of these desires, we have learned that most adult American males are relatively friendless. In response to this phenomenon, Pat Morley, in his book The Man in the Mirror, offers us a list of questions that are very helpful in defining the quality of our man-to-man relationships. Here are just a few:

• When things go badly, who do you talk to?
• Who can you be totally honest with?
• Who is your sounding board?
• Who would you take advice from?
• When you fail, who will stand by you?
• Who do you face life's struggles with?
• Who is your confidant?
• Who holds you accountable?

Are there some men in your life you can really count on? Where do you go when "life happens"? Do you have friends, men who know you well enough to be brothers? If not, then you may be living in relative isolation, caught in relational patterns that allow you to function but not to grow in Christ.

We have discovered that there are two major reasons why this quality is often lacking in male relational patterns. The first one is that men, in general, are more prone to be loners than women are. Many researchers have noted that this just seems to be a part of the male nature. Second, there are cultural forces that push that loner in us all to extremes.

Questions
1. What are the cultural forces that seem to push men into being "loners"?
2. What is it about men that they naturally gravitate toward being "loners"?
3. What is the difference between "functional relationships" and becoming "brothers"?

Exercise:
Pick some of the questions in the above tip and comment upon how they measure trust among men.

Excerpt from "Brothers!" by Geoff Gorsuch
For more excerpts browse this link: www.lifecoach.org
This book is available from PKNZ store. Recommended resource for all small group leaders.